That’s a heavy word, isn’t it?
It has a lot of connotations. For me, it brings up the word “girlfriend.”
For a long time I would feel sadness just at hearing the word…because most of my life I never had, and couldn’t get, a girlfriend at all.
And from age 15-27 it’s all I ever really wanted.
Only when I got into the whole ‘pickup’ scene did I even realize you could have sex with women who weren’t your girlfriend!
…and I was 30 before I even realized you could have relationships with multiple women, all of whom you can be dating.
Whoa! I guess that word doesn’t mean what I thought.
In fact, it simply means a connection, association, or involvement of some type that involves mutual benefit. It doesn’t have to be sexual, but it is commonly used that way today.
Relationships then, are one of the keys to happiness and living the good life.
Because, ultimately, we are the sum of our relationships, aren’t we?
We become the people we hang around with the most.
Just as they say “You are what you eat” I say “You are who you eat with!”
…So pick your lunch dates carefully ;)
It would seem that fewer people than ever in our Western society are capable of having a successful relationship. (In fact, tons of people out there struggle just with having solid, loving, supportive friends!)
There are those people that have a girlfriend and seem to swap those out every few months, or every couple of years, even though their intention is long-term monogamy and stability.
Others seem to only have totally meaningless sexual flings…until they settle for someone they don’t genuinely connect with, just to be able to have sex as often as they can. Hardly the definition of a successful relationship!
This is a topic I feel like I really want to explore in the coming months (and that’s why I picked that theme for the next DDS event!)
I’d say my first recommendation would be to make sure the type of relationship you’re in (or are striving for) meets your specific needs at this point in your life.
For me personally, this has changed drastically. (And any healthy individual’s needs SHOULD be changing – that means growth is occurring.)
I’ve gone from being a sex addict who’d take any action he could get, to having multiple girlfriends, to being in a loving committed relationship.
…And I learned completely different lessons along the way.
I’d like you to take a moment to think about something:
…Or are you just chasing some relationship paradigm because you’re ‘supposed’ to?
The vast majority of people find themselves unhappy in traditional monogamous relationships because…. they just plain don’t realize the don’t *have* to be in one. (They’ve just never been given any options!)
Are you just accepting the wrong relationships because it’s easier that way?
Or are you going after what you really want?
Meditate on this.
You might be surprised to learn the real reason you are “in the game.”
Join me next time in Part II where I’ll explore a key pillar that makes a successful, joy-filled relationship ;)