Poetry: It's Not Gay If It Gets You Laid (...with a woman!)

Poetry: It’s Not Gay If It Gets You Laid (…with a woman!)

More than once, I’ve written a poem for a woman, then taken her to a poetry night…. then performed it (without her having a CLUE as to what was going on!)


And yep – I must say all of those dates went….. Very well ;)


…So I’m back in London, and I took one of my students to a poetry night last night

Not to get him into bed.. you know… for his personal development!

It was good fun.


I find it’s good way to get a shy guy out of his shell is to perform! I have a particular way of doing it. I just take him to the poetry night about 45 mins before it starts, and tell him “Dude, you are performing tonight. So get cracking!”


Yep. It’s almost worth doing just to see the looks on their faces!


Anyways – I did a little poem myself about how dentists are EVIL… and the student’s one was about approaching a woman… I thought I’d share ’em with you.


I Wish I Was A Dentist

I wish I was a dentist

Brush & Floss every day

that’s what they love to say

Like a broken record

U never opted in to hear


Most people hate dentists

Because they bring them pain

I hate dentists because they sell a solution

based on gain


I wish i was a dentist

Brush and floss every day, I’d say!

What a load of crap

I can’t believe I fell into their trap




Turns out the bacteria

That destroys your teeth

just needs the right mix

To bring in the fix


A little clove Oil

Or even some salt

Wipes away the naughty bums

Who’ve haunted your gums


Ever heard of Oil Pulling?

I never have!

What a surprise

Everything that works

Has been dispersed


No Drilling is needed

It never was

What a great Con

To Bring in the $$$Strong$$$


I wish I was a Dentist

Oh What a life

If only I’d known sooner

I’d have spread

So much more dread

PRETTY GOOD HUH? (And yes – the poem is true. Surprised?)


Here’s the Student’s poem:

What is Masculine?

What is Feminine?

Should they Intertwine?

Could they be divine?


A man approaches a woman tonight

She is afraid, she is curious

She tests his might


Should he be bold, or just be polite?

He Stumbles, he falls

He tries to unplug

What a pain in the ass

Is this thing called love


He faces his fear

He takes all the blows

It’s messy, unclear

Will she be his dear?


No, not today

Says her contorted face

He dies inside

Oh what a waste


Neither love nor lust

Shall play out tonight

But man’s done his duty

And shall live to flirt – another night.


Fuck yeah. (Okay so I helped him some on his poem too so I still take partial credit!)


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