Outgrowing Your Friends?

Hey Dude!
Once a man begins the journey of self improvement, he can expect many changes in his life.
Frankly – he can expect many changes anyways, because change is the only constant factor in life. EVERYTHING is always changing – whether you know it or not.
However when you choose to develop yourself – there are many more changes. And they are far more profound because they are happening consciously.
YOU are in charge of the journey….. Which usually means you can pick the destination.
Pretty cool, eh?
So – one question I get a LOT from guys that are on the path is;
“Sasha! I just can’t hang out with my friends anymore. All they do is sit around smoking pot and watching TV all the time…. I just don’t feel I have anything in common with them. What should I do?”
If you’ve ever felt that you have outgrown your old friends (and most of us on the path have at some point,) you can relax! It’s actually a GOOD sign. And, there’s only really one answer to the question.

Move on.

It seems harsh – but the fact that you are outgrowing your friends means (by definition) that YOU are growing. YOU are developing. YOU are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing on this planet. Developing yourself.
How can you be expected to enjoy the company of the friends you had in the past, before you started bettering yourself? YOU stopped being the same person the MOMENT you decided to take your life into your hands.
So, the new you, needs new friends.
You might be tempted to get YOUR friends into self-development too….. but you’d be mistaken to think so.
You see, everyone is on their own path – and everyone is learning exactly the lessons they need to be learning RIGHT NOW that THEY NEED – for their own journey.
If that means wasting a couple of decades doing drugs, or playing video games. That is their choice. Maybe they NEED to wake up 50 years old, have a huge breakdown, and realize how precious this lifetime is. Maybe they are supposed to do something totally world changing at 55, born out of the break down they had at 50.
Who’s to say?
It’s their path…… And there is usually very little you can do other than leave them alone to live it. Don’t try and help – unless they ask! In fact…. What YOU think is “help” may take away from the exact experience they NEED to be having right now.
So just let it be! Focus on your own enlightenment… Be happy… And allow the universe to send newer (and more appropriate) friends your way.
It always has for me, and I’m sure it will do the same for you :)
Besides, once you are a happier person and living your own path fully and passionately – your old friends are going to start asking questions. And at that point – you will be in a position to share some wisdom and be received. Till then – shut up and just mind your own journey.
Also a warning: Many of your friends may discourage you (or outright sabotage you) from improving yourself. Never let them. In fact, anyone who keeps your from shining was NEVER truly your friend – they just kept you around for entertainment. (Hey, ego likes ego!) Anyone who really loves you would only want you to do well in life. Simple as that.
And hey, here’s a little video I made talking about it! Whee!


P.S. If you’d like to join a truly AMAZING group of guys who have chosen to develop themselves, why not try out the Infinite Man Academy? We have a fabulous opportunity going on during this video…..


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  • Rick says:

    Alright m8,woah,I just read your article & what you said in it is exactly what happened to me.I wasted a few decades on drugs.Spent the last 5 years doin everything I could to get clean.Ditched all my using mates,moved house,went to relapse prevention groups.And I was virtually there,it was then that I realised how empty my life was,No job,no girl friend,no friends etc.I tried to get off the anti psychotics I was on,ended up suicidal.I stuck it out for 3 months,until I’d had enough.Went out and bought £100 of heroin & was gonna end it.I was about 10 minutes away from doing it.I just had a final look on the internet to check I was gonna do it right,when I stumbled upon a website that really bluntly spelled out what the consequences could be if I went ahead.I changed my mind & thought I’ll just stick out the next few years,I thought I would probably be dead by then I’dd o’d’d that many times.Then I found a purpose,self development & my life is so much better.And I really appreciate people like you dude,who go out their way to help others,nice one,thanks,Rick

  • Lou says:

    I always helped everyone but myself, i always saw greatness in others and made them feel genuinely special…. i thought that someone else would see that as well for me, so that i can start to believe more in myself.

    I felt that i couldn’t start this Journey on my own, i wanted someone else to start first and then i could take the lead. That mentality back then led me to various situations that i didn’t like.
    But after watching your videos, i just felt it, after a while i started taking action,
    and realized that i can be my own leader in life, and stop waiting for others and their permission to change myself. I felt so powerful that i started my own journey and not letting others, and even myself hold me back.

    After a month the feeling was instant, i didn’t even thought about i, i just distanced myself from old friends and habits naturally. I knew i couldn’t help them cause it was hard even for me to realize, and that they have chose their own path. They didn’t know what they were missing, but they also don’t want to realize it, they have convinced themselves that life is the way it is for them.
    But still i appreciate, love and respect them and hope for their best.

    Sasha this is truly such a great article!! Thanks for putting your dedication experience and wisdom on everything you do :)

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