It occurs to me that I’ve been doing something that may in fact (at this point) be hurting my game.
I’m starting to think that you shouldn’t ask about their boyfriend if you only wanna fuck!
It may just be counter productive. Not because it reminds her she has one, and stops her from taking things forward with you. That too – but I never go for women with boyfriends so … that’s not what I’m talking about. What I mean is – when you ask whether or not they have a boyfriend (Whether it be as simple as “Do you have a boyfriend”) … or my classic “How many boyfriends do you have” question – you’re implying that this is the position you’re going for. This can be bad, especially if you’re just interesting in going to bed with the woman.
First off – lots of women don’t want a boyfriend. Many women (just like us) just want to hookup and have fun. Loads of them. Even the ones that pretend they’re not doing that – they’re doing that. So as soon as you give the impression you may be interested in being their boyfriend – you’re going to put some women off. Period. That’s it. They’re not interested anymore.
Also, it’s a bit needy coming in from the “I wanna be your boyfriend” frame anyways. You don’t even know her, what the fuck are you doing asking if she has a boyfriend? You wanna be her boyfriend after 2 minutes? That’s gay. Gay gay gay.
Also – what about all the grey area situations where she’s seeing someone, or is just sleeping with her ex, or just started dating someone? She may not want to say “I’m banging my ex” so she’ll just say “yea I have one” … then you’re fucked. It just puts you in an awkward position. Some girls also just see it as low value to not have a boyfriend, so they’ll say they have one even when they don’t. But once she tells you that – what are you going to do now? If you try and bone her – you look like a dick. Even if she doesn’t REALLY have one – you look like a dick. You’re just working against yourself even asking the question.
So, if you are approaching a woman you find attractive, and all you know is that you want to sleep with her – you should let her know exactly that. That’s REAL direct game – That’s the point of direct. Let her know you’re interested in her, sexually. BOOM!
That doesn’t mean you have to say “I want fuck you” to every girl you meet – as the opener. You don’t have to say that at all, as indeed it may be too much for some. But you have to make it abundantly clear you’re after sex. SEX SEX SEX.
Not “A boyfriend/girlfriend monogamous relationship”
If she’s in a committed relationship she’ll let you know. Even if she is, and you’ve made it REALLY clear what you’re after – there’s a chance you’ll be hearing from here again. Why? Because when she wants to get laid by someone new, you’ll pop into her head. She may know a lot of guys – but how many have actually made it SUPER clear they want to sleep with her? Probably very few.
If she brings up a boyfriend – then you may behave accordingly based your moral system (if any) :P
A couple of ways I’ve put my intend across recently have been:
“Yeah, after one night with me, you won’t forget me, that’s for sure”
“We should get together and exchange orgasms. It’s win win!”
“I just want to spend some quality nekked time with you.”
“Let me be clear, I don’t wanna be your boyfriend. I just want to get into your pants!”
And of course, the key is NOT to be “entertaining” when you put this shit across. Direct is not the time for jokes. I know – it’s not easy for me either! I’ll still be funny when I’m hitting on a woman overall sometimes – it’s part of my charm. But at the moment where I actually make it really clear I want to sleep with a girl (for the FIRST time) I say it seriously so she knows I’m not mucking about! I want them laughing because of the tension of how direct I am – not because I’m being “entertaining!”
For newer guys who just need to start getting sexual in conversations – go ahead and keep using “How many boyfriends” as it’s good and let’s ‘em know you’re interested. Further on in your development, I’m thinking it’s better not. I’m going to drop it from my conversations and see what happens…