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Direct Daygame vs Indirect – the Truth Revealed! – by Ryan Black

 

How Direct Daygame totally revolutionised my dating life, AGAIN

Ryan Black Direct Daygame ApproachIn the autumn of 2007, I was sitting in my room in University when my good friend Andrew came in, smiling and clutching a book, which he offered to me. Only the night before, I’d been telling him about some problems I’d been having with my then girlfriend of 4 years. “You HAVE to check this out” he said. I looked down at the black leatherbound edition and read the words “The Game” embossed in gold on the cover. I devoured the book in about 48 hours and literally couldn’t contain my enthusiasm. Was this real? Did “pick up artists” really exist? Having just finished a course on biocultural psychology where I learned all about the interaction between evolution, psychology and society, the theory totally clicked and made perfect sense. I searched around on the internet, and, lo and behold, there was an entire community of pick up artists on forums everywhere – it was real!

Over the next few years, I dedicated myself to the study and implementation of all the information and advice I could get about how to become a “PUA.” From pick-up-artist-forum.com, to eBooks, videos, audiobooks, and everything in between, I developed an encyclopaedic knowledge of the subtle differences between emotional progression models versus straight Mystery Method versus Adam Lyons (C-R) + Q + SE model, and so on. I credit the study of the pick up arts with giving me the motivation and incentive to go and work out, improve my body language and posture, dress well, think about making great first impressions, become more social, make female friends, learn NLP, and generally go down the path of self-improvement.

However, did any of this actually get me laid? Surprisingly, the answer is NO. Despite knowing a lot about pick up, having a few pretty cool wings, and going out a lot, even the new improved me wasn’t faring any better than the old one. After two years of being a self-proclaimed “pick up artist,” I had two lays to my name, neither of whom (sorry girls) would rank any more than a 5 on anyone’s scale.

Looking back now, I know that my lack of success was not down to something I was missing. In fact, it stemmed from some of the limiting beliefs that indirect methods such as the mystery method unwittingly instil into almost every aspiring pick up artist:

Limiting Belief 1: You have to “create attraction” BEFORE you can telegraph interest, qualify or sexually escalate.

Limiting Belief 2: You have to “raise your value” and/or “lower her value” before she will become attracted to you.

Limiting Belief 3: You have to follow the steps correctly. If you don’t get the girl, it’s because you’ve failed at one of the steps.

Limiting Belief 4: A great pick up artist (who knows how to do all the steps correctly) can get ANY girl.

(1) & (2) The basis of the “neg” is the combination of 1&2. The neg acts as a “false disqualifier,” making the girl think you’re not actually hitting on her, whilst at the same time “lowering her value” by acting as a sly insult. It’s the basis of “active disinterest” – engaging her in conversation, but saying that you’re not interested because she’s not actually that hot.

The problem with the neg: most wannabe pick up artists are likely so socially uncalibrated that they don’t know how to deliver a neg with a cheeky smile in a confident manner (i.e. “flirting”), so instead it just sounds like an insult, or even worse, like a nervous guy attempting a compliment but failing!

The problems with pretending you’re not hitting on her until you get the sense that she’s attracted to you are numerous:

• You get “in your head” and constantly look for signs of attraction rather than focusing on the interaction at hand and actually LISTENING to what she’s saying

• You wait so long NOT hitting on her that you get worried about when it’ll be “ok,” making it more and more incongruent and more awkward, eventually getting yourself into the friend zone through lack of escalation.

• You assume your “attraction building routines” are what’s causing the attraction, rather than the possibility that she was ALREADY attracted to you anyway. In reality, all you had to do was spend 5 minutes showing her that you’re a normal guy who likes her, and you’d have had a far higher chance of getting to know her intimately.

• You assume the hot girl has more “value” than you from the very beginning – but wait a minute, what happened to “I am the prize”? If you’re the prize, then surely you can assume higher value, which would negate the need to “neg” altogether.

• You’re starting your entire interaction with this girl based on a LIE. You’re not going up to her to ask a “female opinion” on some debate you’re having – you’re talking to her because she’s HOT and you’re attracted to her! The first few seconds you start talking to a girl, especially in a club or bar, she knows exactly what you want. Women are not stupid, in fact they are far more attuned to subtle social cues. You can’t fool them into thinking you really want to know “who lies more.”

(3) The idea of an “emotional progression model” is incredibly attractive to the kind of man that will end up getting involved in the pick up artist community. A guy who is probably quite nervous in a social situation because of its inherent complexity (who might even be verging on autism) will look at a structured, logical, linear progression, and therefore something that could be learned exactly. They may think that following these steps exactly will guaranteed their success, as if pick up were like a video game.

The big PUA companies love teaching models like this because they’re simple and easy to explain, and more importantly, when a student isn’t getting results, they can say, “oh well, it’s because your sticking point is between A3 and C1, so you just need to buy our new product focusing on qualification and comfort, and then do another bootcamp, and you’ll learn C1-S3 and be there before you know it!” This puts the blame squarely on the student for screwing up the system, not something inherently flawed in the system, the student, or maybe even the girl herself! This is a great way to sell lots of specialised products for every single facet of interaction (opening, comfort, phone and text, daygame, club game, etc.) but it likely doesn’t address the core issues that may be preventing the student from achieving the success he wants.

Fundamentally, what’s really counterproductive about this whole way of learning, is it creates the mentality of “if I just learn this material, then I’ll say exactly the right thing at the right time to convince this girl to like me and want to sleep with me.” The whole thing is upside down! If you’re supposed to be the prize, if you’re so high value, if you’re so alpha and confident, then why on earth are you worrying what the right thing to say is to make some girl like you?

(4) Finally, the big gurus or master pick up artists, with all the commercialised hype, have to sell the idea that their system is 100% foolproof and sell the idea that, if performed correctly they system can turn normal guys into chick magnets capable of bringing home any woman they desire. Of course, we know this MUST be false. Some women, regardless of how “tight” your game is, will simply not be attracted, or be in a committed happy relationship, or something you do may remind them of their ex boyfriend who treated them badly, or a million other reasons. Again, the mindset is that the mPUA can control everything within the interaction and guarantee a 0% chance of rejection. The very idea of a ‘rejectionless’ pick up attempt is ludicrous. Without rejection, you’d never even begin the learning process that is absolutely necessary to even master the basics of any skill – seduction being no exception.

After learning the Direct method from Sasha Daygame, my results immediately skyrocketed. I went from a guy who was struggling to scrape a new (often quite average looking) girl every few months, to setting up 3 or 4 dates with new girls every WEEK, every one of whom was incredibly attractive to me. Nothing else changed, I was still just the same guy, with the same personality, looks, and job. And nothing I did was particularly unique, exceptional or complicated. Fundamentally, it was a simple mindset shift that replaced those limiting beliefs with new empowering ones:

Limiting Belief 1: You have to “create attraction” BEFORE you can telegraph interest, qualify or sexually escalate.

Empowering Belief 1: Confidently displaying your romantic interest and sexual intent to a girl is one of the most attractive things you can do. It’s the most honest way to begin an interaction with a woman you’re interested in, and even if they reject you, they will respect you so much more for being up-front with them.

Limiting Belief 2: You have to “raise your value” and/or “lower her value” before she will become attracted to you.

Empowering Belief 2: Your “value” is already exactly as high as you believe it to be – it’s within you, and has nothing to do with what others think of you. You don’t have to bring anyone down to feel better about yourself, and you don’t have to impress or prove anything to anyone. Simply act how you want to act, and if people want to join in the fun, then great. If not, so be it. You are good enough, and if the people around you don’t see that, it’s their loss.

Limiting Belief 3: You have to follow the steps correctly. If you don’t get the girl, it’s because you’ve failed at one of the steps.

Empowering Belief 3: There are certain things that will help you, and certain things that will hurt you. But, fundamentally if a girl likes you she’ll give you plenty of opportunities, regardless of the “steps” you follow. If she’s not into you, no amount of perfect routine-following will make her suddenly become attracted to you. If it doesn’t work out, SHE failed to recognise how great you are, and that’s HER fault, not yours.

Limiting Belief 4: A great pick up artist (who knows how to do all the steps correctly) can get ANY girl.

Empowering Belief 4: No man on earth is universally attractive to ALL women. No man can talk his way into every woman’s heart (or panties!) Some women will simply not be into you. But that’s ok, because for every one of those, there’s a woman around another corner for whom you are the perfect type!

So, how have my interactions changed?

Before I adopted the direct mindset, I was constantly pushing myself into talking to girls I found attractive even though I was really nervous. If she wasn’t interested, I’d take it really personally and start analysing what was wrong with me. Was my body language off? Did I come in too “obviously?” Maybe I just wasn’t attractive enough?

If I did get into a good interaction, I’d be so happy that it was going well that I’d just keep things at that level – having a pleasant conversation and not taking things further. To take things further, of course, would risk that terrible REJECTION I was so worried about!

Now, I simply go into every interaction with a woman I find attractive with a direct compliment, making my romantic intentions clear from the start. What I’ve found is that the rejections are pleasant, and the women often thank me with a smile for brightening their day. As for the girls that are interested, they are already very attracted to my confidence and honesty, and I can proceed with the certainty that I can move things forward and escalate, knowing full well that any “no” along the way is almost certainly a “later” (i.e. token resistance) and not actual rejection.

This has also carried over to my social life and business in general. When I meet people in social situations, rather than worrying if I might be accepted or criticised for my actions (and therefore possibly staying silent or toning myself down) I instead just display my personality. What I’ve found is that acting more authentically and naturally with people actually makes me far more accepted and leads to almost universally positive reactions towards me. And I know through the experience of working with clients and students that almost any man can adopt the Direct mindset and get the same positive results!

More info on Ryan click here | Ryan’s next bootcamp and residential dates click here

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  • Lost.B says:

    I loved this article. It was just the inspiration I needed.
    I used to do direct game without even knowing what that was, and it used to work very well. Due to terrible events I lost confidence in myself these months/year, so I wouldn’t do it anymore, thinking that I’m too depressed/uninteresting/not well groomed (and not motivated for shopping anyway).
    This article and the empowering beliefs especially got me back to the reason why we shouldn’t focus on the outcome with a particular girl. In the end, seriously depressed as I am, I just went out alone, thinking about these positive beliefs and talked to a total of one woman tonight, but we spent many hours and went to a few places together, and more than everything I had an awesome time. So I thank you seriously! I probably was just lucky but you know, I’d have stumbled upon a girl like that sooner or later, rather than trying to get any girl attracted by using canned lines.

  • Big.J says:

    I like this article. I’ve read some PUAs materials and I find some techniques, right on point, but I find others ridiculous. But I do,kt want to condemn any method as long as it brings result. Result is all that matters. Another downside is that most of these PUA are also marketers. Secondly their methods may not apply to every person. And most importantly, if their method is followed religiously, it would rather hurt your game than help you.

  • winston says:

    im really in astonishing i thought that the indirect game was going to give me more results but it was not the result what i waited but what can i do i´m going the redo my self and put in practice the new knowledge by the way thanks for the advises i was learning from the method of mystery too and i´m agree with the post it´s true also i found this blog today and i think that i´s interesting to find people like you that helps men like me thanks

    regards from central america

  • Luiz Palma says:

    Well, I don’t know the culture of your country.

    But in Brazil direct game WORKS easily.

    And the girls think you are gay or just wanna be friend if you use indirect.

    And trust me: I have a lot of frieds, i am beautiful (girls says that) and rich.

    Just my contribuition………

  • silkof says:

    Nice article but it’s far better to work first indirect and then go to direct because ” …giving me the motivation and incentive to go and work out, improve my body language and posture, dress well, think about making great first impressions, become more social, make female friends, learn NLP, and generally go down the path of self-improvement.”

    The ability to self reflect and observe yourself and the reactions of others is an extremely valuable tool to every communication field. Additionaly, the idea of transferability is a mildstone here. Being able to make a woman open to you indireclty and lead her where you want, even if it’s really difficult and time consuming, will make you able to apply your communication skills to every filed. E.g. you’re a therapist and you want your patients to feel comfortable with you or you have a problem with your boss and you want to solve it (saying to him/her go fuck your self in a direct manner wouldn’t be very smart).

    So, direct is easy and bring good results, I’ve been using it for 3 weeks and I got double dates. But indirect helped me to make the interaction much more fun and interesting for me and improve my “psychology” skills. Play both it’s better!

    • Admin says:

      The danger is guys get trapped trying to “master” indirect – meanwhile they loose their balls because they never actually pull the trigger and try and fuck.

      Then they are stuck in “Mr nice guy” more permanently.

      That’s the program. Better get good at Authentic/Direct game – then *maybe* work on your flirting or other stuff. But any amount of BS indirect game is bad for the soul – and for your balls. You cut a little piece of them off each time you pretend you just like a girl “as a friend”

      It Basically turns men into girls. Which, if you want to have sex with women – should be avoided :P

  • Mamalbertos says:

    This is really good shit. I love it that people giving advice to us are finally catching up to what’s really important.
    All those technique-driven ‘systems’ are such a load of crap.
    Meeting women should be simple, easy, like strawberry picking.
    Thank you!

  • Kajos says:

    positive comment! ;)

  • DARLING BALOTIC says:

    Good idea. I think the truth is somewhere inbetween, direct and indirect, depending on the woman, situation, circumstances, and your mood at the time.

    Darling, Dragan, Balotic

  • Athos says:

    Sasha,
    just wanted to say ‘nice one’ for all the internet clips and ‘don’t be a pussy’ pep talks! Your positive, be natural, no bull***t advice is spot on and has helped me to start getting numbers. Making girls feel good is brilliant! So a massive thanks from me.

  • Alex Kong says:

    Hey Sasha, I’m leaving you a comment here cause I know you do read these ones. I’ve been devouring your material, read all your emails, I’m almost done with all the articles and I’m half way through your youtube videos and I’m heading towards the youtube seminars. This one article made me EUFORIC (I know you didn’t write it, I don’t have the fortune to know the one who did) but I just wanted you to know how much I fucking love your work (and your team’s), I’ve known the PUA community for a long time now and the indirect approach was such so complex and “scientific” that… the years it would have…and the effort, and the internal conflict it would have…, aaaw gaaad I’m fucking glad I found you, you fucking bastard I love you, GO TO HEAVEN!

    Oh yeah, forgot to say… I’m not only devouring material I’m practicing infield of course and it totally works!!! that’s why I’m so excited XD

    I’m determined to master my own fears, to become shameless and free, you’ll be hearing from me you READ MEEE???! Big hello from Mexico, and good luck with your workshops, seminars, bootcamps yada yada there, I’m so jelous of the atendees. =)

    • Admin says:

      Hahah awesome man, I wanna hear about it. You coming to my talk in mexico city tomorrow?
      S

  • Matt says:

    Sick article. Really confirming what I discovered on my own after doing the typical indirect pua stuff for quite a while.

  • Gamer says:

    I remember when I just started daygame. I was at Starbucks checking out this girl..and a guy noticed and we had a chat coz he turned out to be one of those Mystery method lovers. He told me about peackocking and shit! At first i didnt understand what he meant coz I was not familiar with it and “The Game” (Thank God!)and then I realized it was all teaching a man to be a PUSSY!!! NOT THINKING OF GETTING THIS BOOK!
    THANKS FOR TEACHING MEN TO BE MEN!! Direct ROCKS! Respect your cock, be a MAN, and go DIRECT!

    • Admin says:

      Hahaha, well “The Game” is a great book. Very entertaining. But yeah, I wouldn’t read it if you want to get good with women, that’s for sure. Glad you’re enjoying my work ;) … come meet me at a live event somewhere bro, I’m all around :)

      S

  • Laladon says:

    Great read, and also some great comments!

    I’m just starting with this PUA thing, i discovered it the same way as Ryan did, but im still in the learning period. I didn’t initially like indirect method, mainly because i’m a very bad liar, and i also dont like magic tricks etc.
    I’m constantly shifting between direct-indirect methods, trying to decide which to learn, adapt. My conclusions so far are, that you have to combine these together to achieve greatness. Direct game leaves too much to chance, while indirects try to maximize the efficiency. I find that the key lies somewhere inside us, i mean, you DO have to improve yourself in order to be successful, that will not only change the way you act/speak/look, but the way you values yourself, which leads to the increase of confidence.
    Anyway, what i wanted to ask is, what are the things you think, are worth adopting from the indirect methods (honestly), because im sure i’m not the first one trying to combine different schools, so i don’t want to reinvent anything. Any response would be much appreciated!

    • Admin says:

      Depends what indirect means!

      For me, if I don’t approach direct I’m just being social and having a chat. So the think to get from THAT is you can be a human being and have a conersation with a girl before you decide if you want to hit on her, or not.

      Direct is just a way for most guys to free themselves from being pussies. After you know you have balls, you can just be social and chat to girls and hit on them when appropriate… i just like to get it out of the way so there’s no confusion MOST of the time.

      It’s being totally full of shit so she thinks you wanna be her “friend” that is the bad type of indirect that should be avoided.

      ;)

      S

  • Adam says:

    This is a very inspiring article. I discovered The Game five years ago and the whole indirect thing never clicked with me. Believing Mystery Method was a perfect system, rejection intimidated me. I also was nervous about not being able to remember my routines. Being 16 at the time, indirect game may have made me worse off than when I started. I abandoned the whole idea around age 18 when I went off to college.

    This year, 2013, I came in with the new year’s resolution of tackling my difficulties with women head on as it’s the only part of my life that I’m struggling with. With the help of friends, I got a makeover, I took an acting class, and did more to help myself to understand my personality better and finally find out how to dress myself and groom myself. My success so far has been limited to a few sketchy kisses and grinding sessions at nightclubs which I can finally go to now that I’m 21. I should also add that between all of this and my first kiss last year, this is all the sexual experience I have to my name. I believe I am a very social person. My two biggest problems are that I don’t sexually escalate and I’m always around other guys who are more confident than me around women.

    In the last couple of weeks, I have discovered Sasha’s videos and website. This I believe is the last piece I need. I’ll be working in a major US city this Summer and after work, I’ll be approaching all evening. The idea of just going out and making girl’s days takes a lot of pressure off of me. I think I am going to have fun with this! Thanks again for the reassurance! I hope I post again with good news.

    • Admin says:

      Hey sounds like you’re on the right track brewski! And glad you enjoy the vids.
      Which city will you be in?
      Big kiss…. hope you post again too! Actually why don’t you post about your progress on the dds forum where other can benefit from your journey (And where more experienced guys will help you too?)

  • Joaquín says:

    Ok guys first of all thanks for this article, every article you write motivates me a lot.

    let’s go:

    -I’m pretty shure than being direct and saying to a girl what you really think about her (she’s hot or nice or cool) works. But what about if she thinks she already gots you, like “Oh this guy thinks i’m beautiful, he is to easy to me, i don’t have to work” and lose interest.

    Probably it’s just on my head and they just get delighted and kind of horny at the same time of what you’ve said.
    I just want to clarify that point and be shure of why the don’t lose interest, I guess that if you say too many good things about her she do lose interest.

    -The second think I would like you guys to help me is:

    I’m from Spain, so I speak spanish but when is about to talking to a girl i feel more confident doing it in english just becouse I’ve seen Sasha many times doing it in english, and I REALLY like to talk in english. the problem is when they realize that I speak spanish it’s kind of akward for both and I don’t know how to handle it.

    Maybe I would have to think a good way to pass from one lenguage to another. Or just start to be more confident about my self talking in spanish.

    Ok guys I don’t know if someone has asked you this kind of things before but I hopet you can give me some advice about this 2 issues.

    THANK YOU VERY MUCH, you are making me see life a different way. For real.

  • Bruno Babic says:

    Sasha, I must say that your views and tips on how to approach dating beautiful women resonates with me.
    I’d just like to add to everything you’ve said that what personally has freed me of that frustrating approach anxiety and fear of any external criticism for being my true self are 2 things:
    1. letting go of or losing any of my desire to pick up any woman before I go out

    2. becoming more comfortable with sharing my true sexual desires with women that really turn me on. The way I do this is quite simply by sparing a few minutes a day to just stare at a random woman’s sexy or hot parts. That’s basically it.

    Finally, I am happy to realize that everything said by both you and me could well serve to any guy as a great eye opener on how to actually go about creating and fully enjoying that ever desired dream dating or playboy lifestyle.

    Have fun!

  • Matt says:

    Great article – it’s so true – when you are so busy worrying about techniques/routines you are not concentrating on creating a connection.

  • Gift says:

    Good piece – I read it after just emailing a girl I met in a pub last night and asking her out for coffee or a drink. I don’t usually do stuff like that but ever since coming across Sasha, ARC and David X, it’s freed up my mind more than ever before to just say “fuck it” who cares what she or anyone else thinks, “Who cares about rejection, I’m the most important person here!” I can feel a change happening and it feels good. (now I just have to distract myself and not sit at the computer all day hoping she replies with a positive!)

  • Jene Ethier says:

    Fast reading and helpful. Thank you so much.

  • josh says:

    A very insightful piece! Especially those 4 ‘limiting beliefs’ ….Like every other aspiring pick-up guy, it all started for me when I read the game. I thought ‘wow! – I’ve gotta learn MM so that like Style I can be ‘the main man’. I have to say in my 5 years of practising game, I’ve never had any success with MM, nor do I know anyone else in the community that has either! Its too damned complex, and as Ryan points out, I was forever in my head asking ‘is this the right time to say xyz, was that an ioi/iod etc, should I kino now or later?’….All I ever got out of it was a headache , it sure never got me laid! On the other hand, I’d read in the game and elsewhere that MM can provide awesome results, so I guess that’s why I persevered so long.
    HOWEVER: If MM is too impractical, what are the alternatives? Well there’s NLP from ‘The artist formerly known as Ross Jeffries’. Now there is something that clearly does work , given what Style says in The Game regarding watching RJ in action in various restaurants and cafes. But I’ve tried running patterns and got zilch! Clearly again the RJ method works for him, but I’m not a hypnotist and no amount of ‘weasel phrases ‘ such as ‘new direction’ seemed to have even vaguely moist effects on the girls when I attempted it. Only when I went ‘direct’ two years ago did I realise that its the only way to go, though I’ve had only very moderate results, I am starting to get some action (at last).
    All the so-called ‘gurus’ agree on one fundamental truth …to get good, one needs years of in-field practice. Sadly, to date, I still haven’t found any ‘magic bullets’ to consistently pull hot girls. Fact is, no matter how good a guy’s rap is, if he has passive value of a 6 he is unlikely to pull a 10. I base this conclusion purely on observing hundreds of both experienced pua’s and noobs in field. Now the converse isn’t necessarily the case, in that a guy who is a 10 will often need game to close a 9 , whereas a 10 guy without game may not even manage to pull an 8 without game. Chicks are constantly looking for reasons to disqualify guys.
    Therefore my broad conclusion is that a guy should always portray his ‘best’ self, but if he’s a frog without obvious external value such as extreme wealth, he ain’t gonna pull any princesses any time soon.
    The best a guy can do is constantly approach, hone his conversation skills, dress congruently , and rely on the numbers to produce some success.
    What no guy should be deluded into doing is to pay some self-proclaimed guru to ‘teach him ‘ game. There are plenty of experienced guys out there who still stick to the original ideals of the community , namely to support/help their fellow human being to achieve happiness, back in the good old days before the pick up community became a pick-up industry. Most guys really just need a supportive wing to help them get over approach anxiety. After that its really just down to practise. BTW if you search for ‘approach anxiety’ you should find some useful free resources!

  • Strawberry says:

    To me, Night-Game always seemed to be there for the ‘so called’ losers or nerds who had no idea about how to get women. Personally, I feel that the ‘neg’ was derived from a person who had low self-esteem and needed to lower the female’s to maintain control of the pick-up.

    Now I’m not saying I’m not a loser or a nerd, but direct Day-Game has helped me realise who I am as a person and that the positive energy that you elicit is the key.

    A sound critique Ryan. And ARC, you legend. My ex- was a ‘wholesome pretender’; wish I read your book sooner but even so I learnt a hell of a lot from being with her.

    Mode One Forever.

    PS: tomorrow I’m in London, approaching minute after minute and fulfilling my written goals…

    all thanks to you Sasha

  • JJ says:

    Hey,

    If you go guys out at night and see a girl you like in a bar, club or whatever do you also apply the whole honesty and being direct system or do you then have to change your mind set and apply the “night game” rules of being indirect?

    I was out the other night and approached a totally hot girl and her friend for the first time in my life thanks to guys like Sasha, Yad and Andy. About three weeks ago I would never even have considered it and would just have been staring at her for ages. I didnt get the number but had a fun conversation and actually felt good afterwards just for being able to have approached. But when I approached I had confusion of should I be indirect or direct considering it was at a bar/club? And I think it may have given off a low level of confidence for I wasnt sure if I was using the correct mindset for the environment I was in. So what do guys implement or do when and if you go out at night?

    Thanks for an awesome article. Really enjoyed reading it.

    • sasha says:

      Nighttime: You can be direct if you want – but REAL direct, not pussy direct.
      Having fun generally is the best way to get in state and meet a bunch of girls. Going “Sarging” at night is usually a shitty time. That’s just me though… I’m bored even writing about it lol. MAybe someone else will have better advice for ya :P

  • Big Al says:

    Really great article! Love it. Thank you Ryan. I think being direct and honest is just plain good for you. It’s so much more empowering. And definitely agree that you learn best when you fuck up. Rejection proof pick up is a load of bollocks, part of the fun is surely the risk, that she has a choice and can turn you down if she wants to. Guaranteed success would make life more boring if you ask me.
    Al

  • DirectDumbass says:

    This has nothing to do with direct except touting it as the answer because indirect just didn’t work, you said that being direct is attractive but that is not always true, blow outs are common in the direct camp because guys don’t know how to do it, this article does not tell you how to do it either. It has no real practical advice at all. But I hope it will help a few guys because direct is a beautiful form of expression that we have barely started to scratch the surface of. Thank you newbie.

  • Author Alan Roger Currie says:

    Julian,

    I agree with Sasha; There is nothing wrong with selling a HIGH QUALITY product and/or service to men who are genuinely looking to improve their lives, and specifically, their love lives, sex lives, and overall social lives.

    Similar to Sasha, I only criticize those Dating Coaches and Seduction Gurus who are out here selling bullsh** methods, techniques, and philosophies that do not lead to permanent improvements in the consumer’s life.

    1st clue that you are paying for a B.S. product: Any product or service that offers a claim that if you follow their advice, you will “never, ever experience rejection from ANY woman.” That is total B.S. You’re always going to be rejected by women. Always. Some guys more often than others, but every man gets rejected from time-to-time.

    ARC
    Direct Dating Summit – Part II: Vegas Baby! Vegas!!
    March 17-18, 2012

  • crestal says:

    where i can see your vedios ryan?

  • Julian says:

    It’s kind of ironic you’re writing a whole article about how you just need to be honest and cool and you don’t need all this crap and “methods” that everybody is trying to sell and then you go on to try and sell stuff yourself.

    • sasha says:

      There’s a difference between selling good quality training that changes people’s lives permanently – and just selling them shitty products than do nothing…. that seems fairly obvious to me

  • Alan Roger Currie says:

    All I have to say is Mooooooooooooooode Ooooooooooooone.

  • Mike says:

    Have to admit there were a handful of girls at uni who were, in my opinion, attractive and and in addition I could tell were into me. I tried to play ‘the game’ with them and lost them. Wish I’d known what I know now, but good article and you have to make mistakes sometimes to learn from them.

    • sasha says:

      Yea man, for realz. Most of the stuff I’ve learned, and got good at – I Learned from fucking up!
      (And I’ve fucked up a LOT!) ;)

      S

  • Ivelin says:

    I’ve noticed the same exact transformation happening with me. It’s just so much better on any level just being REAL and COMPLETELY HONEST with girls and people in general, going for what you want and not giving a fuck what other people will think of you.

    I always remind my self about being honest, communicating with girls, showing they can trust me, and that they have to respect me in order to have me in their life.

    I now always do what I want to do and don’t care about what other people think of that. I also go for what I want and escalate with confidence. I just tell the girl what I want and let her decide if she wants it too. :)

    I don’t care if I get rejected because I don’t have a big ego now.. If I get rejected so be it.

    This has gotten me much better results with women and also I feel much better about myself because I’m finally being my real self.

  • Artem says:

    Good article, all as a matter of fact. Publicly and sincerely. It is pleasant to read.
    Thanks.

    Do not find for a spam if who knows, prompt please, what for songs video play these?
    http://vimeo.com/28889773
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    Write here “rubens-style@yandex.ru”

  • Ryan says:

    @ Eddy & Jesus – info about me, and film of my approaches, is on the about section of this very website! https://www.sashapua.com/about

    @ makestik & Nawaf – glad you liked it guys! And yes, being authentic is the way to go for sure :-)

    @ A. Worhol – that’s a really good point you make. Being direct with your intentions has to be performed in the right way. You don’t want to give off the impression that you’re giving her tons of value, or that her beauty is enough to completely win you over, for example “oh my god, would it be ok if I just told you that you’re so gorgeous… can I please just talk to you for a few minutes, is that ok?”

    The direct compliment should come from a place along the lines of “hey, I’ve noticed you and there’s something about the way you look, or how you carry yourself, that interests me – now, I want to find out more about you.” The idea is that she still has to prove herself worthy of your time – after all, you don’t want to waste 2 hours and a bunch of money on dinner to sit talking to a girl who’s boring, stupid or simply doesn’t get you or your personality, do you?

    The direct compliment is just a way to start the conversation on the right foot. It’s not a magic line that gets you straight to a date or sex. From there, you still have to be interesting, be challenging, use qualification, joke around, tease and flirt, and so on, in order to display your attractive qualities, find out about her, and get her to invest in the interaction with you.

    Hope that helps!

  • Ace says:

    Great article Ryan!
    Thanks for writing and sharing it!

  • Lee says:

    I agree with being direct. Indirect is dishonest .you build a nonsexual conversation with a girl and then trip up the girl by asking for her number. It undermines all the previous interaction she thought she was having with you and paints you out to be duplicitous. However, direct game does have a cost; you must have the requisite confidence to use this approach. Most don’t have that.

  • Woody says:

    Hi Ryan, really enjoyed the article. When I started reading all this stuff I totally lost the ability to get girls. When things were going naturally I would be thinking, “must Neg, body language, Neg again, dhv, etc etc” when I used a system I hated game but I kinda stuck with it because I wanted the promised land of MPUA.

    However, after I took Sasha’s bootcamp, I learned to forget the BS and just enjoy the interaction. That certainly made it a lot easier to get dates and the knock on effect was greater. Rather than kidding on you’re an alpha. When one woman gives you shit, simply knowing you can get another one easily makes you react to the situation differently.

    I could go on forever but I just wanted to say nice article : )

  • Red Lipstick says:

    I totally agree : Sasha direct game + radical honestly (http://www.esquire.com/features/honesty0707) changed my life. I finally find more natural and easier to be direct. Thank you guys for all this tips !

  • Nawaf says:

    one of the best articles ever,
    I wanna say by just being simply smily and friendly with everyone is going to by default raise your odds. This is how you create attraction. Otherwise, I agree, be 100% authentic.

  • majestik says:

    absolutely awesome article. this should be mandatory reading for anyone who wants to get into pick up. this is a refreshing dose of reality.

  • Jesus says:

    nice! lucky me i found direct game a few months after i read the game, wouldnt be a bad idea film you in action Ryan, since ur also coaching , costumers need to know whats ur style

  • A. Worhol says:

    This was a very enjoyable read about being direct/natural.

    My favorite part was the talk about attraction needing to be created before you move on, as I suffer in this category and still will refuse to open or escalate unless I get an IOI.

    I don’t accept empowering belief 3 as true, or rather I haven’t found it to be true in my interaction with women. I still reject this new natural/direct movement where people claim that value comes from your perception of yourself.

    I think my story represents newbies everywhere very well and I’ve recently have been testing out a direct mindset. No matter how I felt mentally about my self worth during my dozens of approaches and no matter how prize oriented I came across, women still shut you down because:

    1. Direct gives women complete control over the interaction and once they have it, I find they lose interest.

    2. Only a certain type of woman finds a person with no external value challenging them sexually interesting. A beautiful woman with options will find your confidence and lack of neediness amusing but will still end up with the guys who give her power (betas who put her on a pedestal, or PUAs who play that silly indirect game women love).

    This beautiful woman can have anyone. It’s intriguing to her that you are defying her power but in the end, she usually just will find someone else who will give in to her rules. I find this time and time again when I tested direct. Initial interest, and then the entire interaction dies when I try to bounce her to a new location or get the number.

    I find direct only works on women who have a lack of any men who challenge her authority. Indirect however seems to work on a large number of women as keeps her from gaining control and forces her to chase.

    Anyways, due to my personal circumstances, I’m forced to use direct and it’s been an adventure trying to self improve and be honest women with at the expense of actually having sex. I hope to find one day a woman who finds honesty attractive instead of indirect games.

  • Eddy says:

    This is one of the best explanations I have seen regarding the problems with game. I knew it, but you articulated really well. I’ve been through a really similar story. Ryan do you have your own website?

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