One of the main pillars of any successful relationship is…
I’d say one of the biggest reasons relationships break down is because people don’t actually communicate clearly with each other.
Sometimes, they don’t communicate at all.
Well how in the world are we supposed to expect to get what we want if we never ask? How are we supposed to know what to GIVE the other, if we’re not asked?
Think about your classic scenario:
Guy meets a woman at a club. The have fun and end up sleeping together. They exchange numbers…then they meet up, maybe grab a drink and a bite, and then end up hooking up again.
This continues for a few months, without any kind of real discussion as to what’s going on.
The woman assumes “hey, this dude wants to be my boyfriend!” While the guy is thinking “Sweet! Sex with awesome fuckbuddy who I can chill with! Yahoo!”
A few weeks later the woman starts acting like they are together, and the guy flips out: “Whoa! I thought we were just having fun!”
They break up. The woman is upset at “men being afraid of commitment,” and the guy’s thinking “Damn… I wanted to keep seeing her and having fun!”
Both people have lost out.
But who’s at fault?
Ah – you’re a smart cookie. It’s both!
He could have said “Look I don’t want to lead you on… I think you’re beautiful and I just want to keep doing what we’re doing and have fun!”
She could have said “Hey, is this just fun we’re having or… is this leading somewhere?”
Maybe something would have come out of the discussion…or maybe it would have ended earlier, before either one invested emotionally. Either way, it would have ended without bad blood.
But if nobody communicates and assumes things just figure themselves out…it usually gets messy at the end.
Most people are so dead scared of honest communication they’d rather just avoid these types of conversations all together… even though it leads to more pain later on.
(Why do we DO that??)
Just imagine what the world would be like, if people just expressed what they really wanted?
Plus, by letting people know what you’re after you actually open up the possibility of getting it!
Shut out the possibility that you will be stuck in the wrong type of relationship for the rest of your life! (Yikes!)
Clear communication both ways means both people get what they actually want.
Keeping your mouth shut and “hoping” it works out is kicking a time bomb down the road.
…It will eventually blow up in your face.
So whether you are single, poly, mono, or your enjoy watching other men sleep with your girlfriend (hey, that does it for some!) – clear communication is the one habit that will keep you from being in an happy, fulfilling relationship.
Funny how… that’s not mentioned anywhere in our education system.
Onward: my conclusion is this:
As in life, so it is in relationships.
He who keeps silent shall slowly fade into the abyss of darkness.
He who boldly proclaims his desires shall have them met, and shall live gloriously in the light.
If you want to discover ALL the pillars to a successful relationship, then join me and many other expert coaches at the next Direct Dating Summit: Relationship Mastery event! Full details and deals on tickets here.