So I’m out here in India Busting my balls trying to get the fellas to have real life connections with the ladies, and the NUMBERO UNO (well, top three) problem they have is that they have absolutely no idea how to connect with women.
I am quickly learning that Indian guys have pretty much the same problems as western guys. They’re scared to approach, they don’t know how to stop women, and they HAVE NO IDEA how to connect with them.
Here’s an actual exert from a practice conversation one of last weekend’s students has with my main squeeze Isabelle (who was assisting on the program)
Student “So tell me something interesting about yourself”
Isabelle “I have a flying license, I fly a plane as a hobby”
Student “Have you ever climbed a coconut tree?”
What in the world does that have to do with connecting with this girl?? Nothing! And believe it or not I hear this type of thing all the time. Irrelevant, non sequitors that just simply don’t make sense.
So this article is called:
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, could it be as simple as just LISTENING TO WHAT WOMEN ARE SAYING?!?
Pretty much. But not quite.
Here’s what’s going on in the average guys head that’s talking to a girl:
“Wow she’s hot. God damn she’s hot.”
“I’d really like to sleep with her….mmm-hmmm”
“Jesus I hope I don’t fuck this up. Don’t fuck this up – whatever you do don’t fuck this up!”
“Man what is she saying? I gotta act like I’m listening. no wait WTF is she talking about?”
“Shit I might look really stupid here if she realized I don’t know WTF she’s talking about”
“Fuck did I stare at her boobs too long? I think she noticed that. Fuck fuck fuck”
This is why I always tell my guys who are BRAIN BASED – Go do some freaking yoga. Go and RUN. Do some meditation. Just do anything at all that will put you in the moment….. so you can just be EMPTY in the head!
Right…..and now….. here’s
Instead of worrying what you’re going to stay when she stops talking, do the sexiest thing a man can do —- JUST LISTEN AND BE PRESENT —- have faith in the universe, have faith in yourself and know that you’ll come up with Something to say when it’s time.
You want to know what’s going on in my head when I beautiful women is talking to me? I’m thinking:
“Focus on her voice. What’s interesting here…..what is she telling me about her….what is she trying to put across….. and how to I make her feel appreciated? Most women just want to feel LOVED! Most women are talking so that they can connect with another human being….. so LISTEN and CONNECT — and LOVE! LOVE … and APPRECIATE!
Do you think women are all just robots? That they’re made of metal and blue fluid, like Commander Data from TNG?
Or do you think that they are human beings, just like you and me – with thoughts and feelings and desires???
That maybe they want to feel loved and appreciated just like we men do?
If a girl shows me she has a great sense of humour, I’m going to say “DAMN GIRL you have a great sense of humour! I LOVE THAT ABOUT YOU!!!”
If a girl shows me she has super smarts – I’m going to say “Damn girl – you are a SUPER GENIUS! That means YOU are allowed to hang out with me!”
If a girl shows me she has a kind heart, I’m going to be all like “Damn, woman – you actually have a HEART! I’m starting to think that maybe you won’t sleep with my best friend, steal all my money, and end up moving to Bora Bora one night while I’m asleep in the bed!”
Here’s what I say to all my students when they come back from chatting with a woman.
“Tell me 3 things that you made her feel that you APPRECIATED about her!”
If he can’t answer, he gets a punch in the arm! (Or at least, a stern look!)
You should be asking yourself the same question after every interaction.
DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID UP THERE? I’m Just finding out what’s cool about her and letting her know – I appreciate that about you.
If you are doing this she knows you care and she KNOWS you’re listening!
But if she doesn’t think you’re listening, it’s GAME OVER!
Shut the fuck up and listen.
Seriously – just shut up and listen to what she’s really SAYING, what she’s FEELING……and connect to that!
Just to emphasize my point, I’m going to upload a big fat video about this in a couple of days – but for now I’ve uploaded this clip by Johnny Soporno. It’s less than 2 minutes, so take a look and find out the most important question guys FAIL to ask women…..