The other day I had a couple of really smooth ass interactions with women. Now – nothing really exciting happened. I strolled up to this woman at a bus stop (I was on my bike) and said “Hey, want a lift?” … she giggles. I tell her she’s hot and I make one other clever remark. She says “You’re fun, let me get your number” … I have her miss call me and she says this weeks crazy but next week we have to hang out. I say cool, give her a kiss on the cheek and I cycle away.
Nothing much happened – but really – everything that needed to happen did. I realized there are really just three ingredients to a successful interaction. They are
1) Opening with an emotional spike
2) Having a fun/positive vibe about you
3) Showing your interest/intent
That’s it, Jack.
You can add other stuff into there, but none of it is absolutely necessary. Like comfort – sure, that may increase the chance you’ll see her again –but you can get away without it. However, without those top three ingredients, you’re just going to have a much smaller chance of success
Ask any experienced dating expert (who’s actually spent time in field) and he’ll tell you the first few seconds of an interaction are the most critical. If you don’t grab her attention, you’re finished. It doesn’t have to even be a compliment. It doesn’t even have to be positive. You can tell her she’s ugly if you like (that’s just not my style). Any emotional spike will do. It is possible to open successful without this – but your chances of hooking the interaction into a conversation are something like 500% higher if you have an emotional spike. I’m not exaggerating here – it’s 5x or more difference I’m talking about here.
Now – having a fun/positive vibe. Nothing sucks them in faster than this. The only situation I’d say you don’t have to have this, is if you’re doing ultra direct game. I’m experimenting with it now, and it has it’s merits. However, my default style is just Mr fun/positive guy. And with most girls, this is probably going to get their interest the fastest. How many girls aren’t interested in getting to know a really positive, interesting, fun person? Few, very few. Now if you’re coming in super direct – how many girls aren’t interested in agreeing to have sex quite fast with someone they don’t know? Shitloads. This brings me to my next point however:
Showing interest. This is the money shot. Listen, you can open great, and have a great fun vibe. But ultimately, if she doesn’t know you’re interested in her – forget about it. Now, I didn’t say intent – as in sexual intent. If you’re doing direct stuff, this is critical yes. But if you’re just having a conversation, being cool and chatting away – you have to show interest in her! For me – I’ve been always showing sexual interest. Always. That’s how I roll. It’s up to you if you’re doing direct/indirect stuff but….. you have to let them know you’re interested in pursuing something.
The interesting thing with this formula is that it can easily be altered for direct, or indirect game
1) Open with emotional spike – Always for both
2) Have a fun/positive vibe – this can be reduced for really direct stuff – but you can still be fun and direct, as I’ve proved over the last couple of years
3) Showing intent – like I said. Indirect: Be interested in her. Direct: Be interested in her, and flirt more. Tell her she’s hot. Or, pull an Alan Roger Currie and tell her you want to bone the shit out of her. Either way, interest must be showed!
This is a simple post which I will possibly expand on soon. I wanted to write this down quick, as I’ve got a girl in the bathroom I’m about to watch a western movie with. Good times!