Hey guys: This is one of my classic writings from like 2009… still a good article. Even though I’d change some of it now, it’s still pretty solid so I thought I’d stick it up for ya’ll. Enjoy ;)
I’ve noticed a weakness in a lot of guys which I’ve taught which I’ve sought to strengthen. It’s a common problem.
Let me break it down for you.
You see some tasty little biscuit, hopping along merrily. So cute and carefree. Yippppe. You chat her up … it goes nowhere, she excuses herself, and buggers off. Sound familiar?
Well – I think I have broken down the necessary missing piece of the puzzle.
It’s really simple actually – people aren’t hooking their sets.
“BAaah!!” you say. “We know about hooking. It’s an old concept. You open, get to hook point, and then go on with the sarge, building comfort, qualifying etc… get the hell out of here with your hooking!!”
Ok, I hear ya. But HOW do you hook the set? A lot of guys KNOW what a hook point is – but they are nevertheless not hooking their sets! What qualities make it a solid hook? What do you talk about? What emotions should you be expressing? What should you be sub-communicating?”
What I’ve done is actually broken down my formula for the hook point.
So, how do you hook?
Well, let me introduce you to another word that you don’t often hear in the community.
Yeah. Banter. Chit chat. Small talk. Yatter. THAT is really one of the key elements here.
Most guys go straight from the OPEN to comfort! That conversation goes like this
PUA “Hey baby, you’re so cute, I had to come over and talk to you!”
Girl “Aww that’s sweet! Hehe!”
PUA “So, what’s your name? Where are you from?”
Girl “Uhh, I’m really late – I gotta go”
Say bye bye.
What happened? Why girl say bye bye??
a) those are terrible afc things to say that every guy says and you seem an unoriginal sort of fellow – the woman is already bored
b) it feels like a pickup (worse, an unoriginal one)
and C) Mainly – WHY is she going to answer your questions?? Who are YOU?? Why would SHE prove herself to you, or answer your queries? Is there a little booth with an “I” over her head?? Sure If you’re bill gates, she would do it. If you’re wearing a $5000 suit, maybe. If you roll up with two Underwear models by your sides, it might also work.
But, chances are, you’re just a regular Joe, not swimming around in oodles of cash at your Seaside mansion. So – you need to demonstrate value early (immediately) and effectively so that she’ll stick around long enough for you to get to know her. Right?
So – Banter, folks! The key words after Banter are FUN. INTRIGUE or PASSION.
Something where you create DRAMA. Something so exciting that you actually PULL the girl into YOUR reality.
Now I want to be clear, this is NOT a DHV story!
You’re demonstrating that you’re a fun, passionate person. That you have personality – that you are excited about life. That you have pizzazz!! (wow, I’ve actually used the word pizzazz! I am so 80’s! Ha!)
When you put this across – you ARE showing higher value anyways – but I just wanted to differentiate between the classic mystery method idea of DHV’ing and what I’m trying to put across – which is really just being a fun person, interesting, passionate person…
So – what can/should your hook be? That’s the beauty. It can be absolutely anything. Something that happened to you that day is best, or that week. The more recent the better. Again if it’s fresh and exciting to YOU, it will be exciting to the girl. It can be something that happened to you ages ago – but preferably only if you’re a good actor ;)
Ok some examples
Hey you won’t believe what just happened! Some guy just grabbed my butt on the street!! I couldn’t believe it!! After I rejected him he wanted to buy me a DRINK! Can you believe that!! What do you girls do when that happens?
(from one of my comedy routines)
Hey! I just went to Burger King and I had to get a token to take a POO!! How humiliating!! Can you believe iT!! There are a few things in this world I though I’d never have to pay for…and pooing is one of them!! (transition: “I know. I get pretty angry over the little things! Haha… so what drives YOU girls crazy??”
(from a student the other day)
I just told me boss to piss off and got fired!! Aah! I’m a bum!! Are you looking to hire anyone? I give good backrubs. I can type 60 words a minute! You look like you need a personal assistant!! I’ll do aaaaaaaanything!! Ok ok I’m kidding. You guys probably have crappy jobs anyways (haha) – I’m kidding. I’m sure you have amazing jobs. What do you guys do?
(one of mine based on a comedy routine)
Hey guys!! Don’t go that way there’s Christians trying to convert people! They’re giving away free tea – but the price is, they try and sell you on jesus! Don’t go!! Unless you love jesus already – then it’s ok, hehe! It’s so weird, the religious people follow me around EVERYWHERE!! Everywhere I go, they’re right behind me!! It’s like they’re stalking me!! You guys are cute, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about ;)
It really, really can be anything – As Long as
You come in with high energy – not even necessarily HIGH energy. As long as you are enthusiastic! Enthusiasm is contagious. This works whether the set is high energy or low energy….. If they are like totally chill, you want to have just a bit of a buzz around you. If they are excited, you can come in a bit excited…. If you try and “out excite” someone you may just freak them out. Remember: You’re not trying to impress them with your raw energy – you want to put across that you are really excited/outraged about something that has just happened! PASSION is the key word here!
As long as you’re having fun, and are genuinely interested about whatever you’re going on about, you should hook the set. After that, you just have to transition properly. So if they are into what you are saying, laughing etc all it takes is
“hey, you guys have a sense of humour! I LOVE peeps with a sense of humour…you guys are my PEOPLE!! So, what’s shaking?
“Hey, you guys are cool! I love people who can appreciate the drama that is my life. Haha. So…. Anything crazy happened to you recently?”
And then you’re off to rapport building / qualification land
Remember: you’re trying to get their genuine attention, which is better than situational attention. I.E If you’re outraged at some crappy sandwich you bought (although this is situational) you can really be ranting about it – you can create drama – you got ripped off!! You paid for a shitty sandwich!!! By the way, the hook CAN be the opener.
Sometimes I’ll just go right into whatever my drama is and that’s perfectly fine.
One guy asked me “but how do you transition into the hook??” and I put it to him that
you hardly even need to transition. Let me ask you this. The last time some really crazy shit happened to you (you had your car stolen, your best friend got shot in the leg, You won 10 million quid in the lottery)
Did you need to “transition” to tell people about it? Like Hell!
You were running around like a chicken that’s just had it’s head chopped off telling everyone around
“I WON!!! I WON!! I WON TEN MILLIONS DOLLARS! WOOOOOOOO!”
You didn’t need a transition – you could open with that. You could ask someone for a piece of cheese, then say
“HA! Who CARES ABOUT CHEESE! I JUST WON TEN MILLIONS DOLLARS! WhOOPEEEEEE”
In fact you wouldn’t even care about the cheese, would you? Even if you were hungry… you’d be too caught up in the moment!
You don’t need a transition or an opener if you’ve got the right vibe – Your experience is the alpha and omega. It’s all that there is. Your experience is omnipotent, omniscient and all deserving
You are in your own world.
No, scrap that
You ARE the world.
So yes, you can go from “OMG you’re bloody well adorable!”
You won’t believe what just happened to ME! …. (Hook story)
You won’t believe what just happened to ME! …. (Hook story)
They key is to tell your story about your shitty sandwich with the same enthusiasm as if you’d just won ten millions dollars.
When you get that down, and you can get womens (yes, womens as Richard Pryor would say) excited about your dilemma about a fucking sandwich, you can get them excited about YOU.
Coming in straight with the hook works really well, because it gets that intrigue going right away – however, a purely situational opener such as “hey! that’s the coolest dress I’ve ever seen, it’s awesome!” can crash and burn easily… because the woman can just say “hey, thanks!” and keep walking. Interaction over! But when you’re ranting excitedly over some thing, this or that – you’re actually trying to put something across that she doesn’t already know (I.E that she has nice clothes, or that she’s HOT) so there’s a reason for her to stick around momentarily. Especially if she’s being entertained. Women LOVE to be entertained. Most of them are, in fact, BORED.
Quick note here on (a type of) sub-communication:
When you’re hooking these sets what you’re sub communicating with your excitement is that you’re a PASSIONATE man. I mean if you’re creating this much FUN because you paid too much for a sandwich, how much fun would you be to go on a date/hang out with if you were going to go and do something that was actually interesting??
When you get this down, you really can hook every set, hard, fast and DEEP. You can have so much fun with a girl in one minute that her friends cannot DRAG them away from you.
Enjoy yourselves! ;)