CAJUN IN LONDON!
So I’m standing in the Argos at 11am and I’m excited. I’m buying my first ever beard trimmer. Influence of Yad.
I get a phone call.
“Hello?”
“Hey buddy what’s going on”
“Cajun?”
“Yea I’m at the airport, what station do you live at again?”
“Dude I thought you were coming MARCH 14th”
“No, I fucking told you, it’s Feb 14th”
“This works out better. Sweet, come over , I live at……”
I totally didn’t realize he was coming on Feb 14th – It’s good though – My flatmate is out of town… so it’s just me and natural Dave at Sasha house.
I got over on the son of a bitch him as soon as he came in. I told him to call me when he got to the tube station by my house. I spotted him as he was coming out of the station, and I managed to sneak up right behind him as he was calling me. I waited till he rang me and my phone was ringing. Then I yelled “Hang up the phone, ya douche!!” Nice.
He turns around. My first thought was – this guy looks like a heroin laden jesus who hasn’t slept in a couple of months. Nice.
We fuck about for the first two days doing jack shit. HE’s sick, Natural Dave is sick. All we do is buy food, eat, sleep, and surf the net. Oh, also we watched “slingblade” which was cool. Some giggles were had when the female reatard comes into the shop to give him flowers. We were like “IOI!” …. “qualification!” … “rapport seekin!”
I said to Cajun it’s funny how you totally see movies in a different light post game. Like no movies is the same now as it was before I really learned this shit. I’d imagine the difference is as big as living after you’ve been turned into a vampire compared to life before. Pretty big.
Tard rapport seeking is the best. “I like flowers” …. “I like flowers too. I’ve always liked the way they smell” …. And then they fuck. Simple, and to the point.
Today, we went to the strip club near my place, with Mr M. AT one point, the Russian stripper walks by. I open her and she stops and starts talking to me. Cajun immediately comments on her shiny dress and sucks her into a conversation. Suddenly, I feel like I’m interrupting my own set.
CAJUN STOLE MY STRIPPER SET !
That’s right. What the fuck? There’s strippers everyone. Fuckin everyone. The first one I talk to, he gets in there. What’s that about? I gave him a thorough grilling and he came up with the following excuses
“She had a shiny dress”
Followed by
“I was talking about you the whole time”
I bring this guy into the game, feed him, put him up on my couch. And what thanks do I get? He steals my stripper set! ;)
Turns out she was boring as shit – so he’d done me a favor!
After there were these 2 chicks coming out of the strip club. One was pretty hot and very drunk, the other was chubbier and not as drunk. So, I’m talking to the hot one and she’s leathered, and aggressive. She’s talking about how awesome and funny she is, without actually being funny. Ugh. I kept making really inappropriate comments about rape and about how hard I’m getting at all the filth coming out of her mouth. Some examples of the shit that came out of my mouth
“you’re goin to have to carry me up those stairs, I’m way too hard to walk”
“Cajun, you wanna kill these girls before or after the raping?”
“You want the fat one, or the drunk one? Ok, let’s draw straws for the chubbie”
That wasn’t the worst of it, but I can’t be bothered remembering all the gold.
He seemed pretty gung ho about the set and I felt like I was going to be a party pooper when I was I wasn’t down. He reveals he was just winging me. Thank god.
After at mine, I tell Cajun we should do an audio interview after my comedy show. He says “when is it?” and I say “845” and he says “In the morning?” … I says “yea, in the morning, you douche” and we laughed. It’s amazing he ever won that show. Oh wait, he was up against his cousin – so uhhh yeah. hehe ;)
Oh: I also went on a date with Hbbulgarian today. It went well. I took her to this spiritual event thingy in a church. We meditated for a bit, and then we tried to read people’s lives by staring into their flower. That part was pretty gay – but I got to talk to this 50 something year old woman who’d been married to a drunk asshole who hit her for 17 years. Nice. We talked about how she should have left her. She cited the kids. I cited the alchol, physical and emotional abuse. But hey….. to each their own.
Everyone out there – careful who you marry, huh? And if you fuck up – leave. Don’t stick around if you’re not happy. I felt bad for this woman. It’s over for her, and she was unhappy from ages 24 to like 52. Ouch. That’s some fucked up shit.
Anyways, my date went great. I handled it very well. This girl likes me quite a bit. She loves how I crack her up- she really laughs at all my sillyness. Couple of tense moments
She kept asking my age. I kept saying it’s way more fun to have her suffer and not know. Haha. This goes well with my teasing frame so I got away with it. She’s got me pinned to somewhere between 25-30. She actually wouldn’t care, It’s fun actually winding her up.
She asked me why I approached her (actually at my party) but we ended up talking about something else
She asked me how many girls I’d been with. I said A gentleman never tells – and that I wouldn’t ask her that (I would) :P
She said, “ok ok, how many times have you been in love?” and I told her all about it.
During tea after the flower reading, she asked “is this a date? You called it a date when you spoke to the group before”
I said (and this is gold) … “I don’t do dates. I just enjoy hanging around quality people. Whatever happens, happns……”
Nice. I think that’s what she wanted to hear. I know she likes me, but she’s always getting pressure I think from douche bag guys around her…. And this totally relieved that.
At the end, we were hugging lots and I kissed her forhead and check. That’s right! Hug close! Lol
I like this girl. I actually felt no need to escalate whatsoever. I realize this may be where I’ve been going wrong this last while. Trying to lay everyone as fast as possible. WTF? That’s not normal. So I’m just gonna take it easy. Cajun said I shoulda planted one on her lips without tongue – but I was happy with everything as it was. She knows what’s going on.
I Magician I once knew told me ages ago that calibration was actually the key to everything – that everything should feel natural….. it’s about time I remembered that.
My crush on the letter writer is waning. I guess meeting someone else I like was the cure. This goes to show you that a lot of the time when you have a big ass crush on someone – not having any other options is a big part of it. This would suggest that the cure for one of these big crushes is in fact – getting your ass out there.
BOOM !
That’s it for now. Look out for my interview with the C man on here in a couple of days.
Oh man. I hope Cajun’s a douchebag tomorrow. I love making fun of my friends. It’s funny, the douchey he is the more I love him… how strange…
I may end up having sex with him before he leaves town…
Sheeeeeeet ….