Nov 25th
Wazaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Woo the last few days I’ve been staying in DA STAINS MASSIVE with Ace_Pua! I’ve met his GF (who’s luvely) and his whole family too!
I learned a lot staying with Ace. I’ve heard his comfort stuff before but I think it’s really starting to sink in. The thing is, we actually managed to go out one night and he was able to watch me “in field”
Apparently, I don’t take a genuine Interest in people. Or, I do – but only if they’re hot chics… yikes! Well, that’s not quite true either. IF a dude is cool or fun to talk to, I’ll certainly do that. But, well here’s what happened. I was with Ace, his girl, his mate (who’s birthday it was) and a friend of his mate’s. So, I chatted with them for a bit and then fucked off to chase girls. Douchey? Maybe. Does this mean I associate going to bars with just “picking up girls?” … well, yes. I don’t smoke or drink, why the fuck else would I be in a fucking bar? It’s so automatic for me to just start gaming It didn’t even occur to me I was being douchey not chillin with Ace’s group. Sigh.
So, this was a good example of me not taking an interest. And being too “gamey.”
Sigh.
Even when I’m in set – I’m not showing them that I really LIKE them. I’m just… being entertaining and getting to know stuff about them … is just getting to know STUFF. Facts. So what? I’m not really making them feel special, or loved. As ace puts it “You’ve got to delight in them!” …. He explained to me that being charismatic isn’t just being funny. it’s winning people over. Being charismatic is, making someone else shine. Making someone else feel good… even if you’re actually “funnier” or “more interesting” than them or whatever. It’s putting the spotlight on them. It’s taking whatever they say and really being interested in it. “really!?” “oh wow!” and “that’s sp cool!” are used a lot.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. That’s a bit fakey, isn’t it? What if someone’s a boring accountant. How do you delight in that? Well, you still can. You can be all like “oh my god. That means you’re good at math? I SUCK at math! You’re like my arch nemisis! If you were superman I’d be lex luthor!” … or “wow, you must be SO disciplined having a job like that. I could never do that, I’d get fired right away. Good on you! By the way, can you help me with my homework? Do you takes bribes? Just don’t tell the principle,or I’d be in big trouble”
Those are just my examples – but you see how I’m just taking an interest and biggin them up…. Putting the spotlight on THEM? That’s the key. It’s always seeing the positive and being impressed by them. It’s about making THEM the star. That’s charisma.
You know how in Mystery Method you’re bring the girls value down? It’s kinda like the opposite of that. You bring them UP, make them the star …. And they love you for it.
I think I’m starting to get that now. I’m looking forward to my next few interactions…
Also: We had some fun with wind up’s. I came up with a new one while I was staying with my mate HAIRY. I needed to have some water next to the couch as I tend to get thirsty at night. There weren’t any clean glasses, so I took one of the 100’s of vodka bottles in the kitchen, rinsed it out and filled it with water. In the morning, I leaned over and had a gulp. At first it felt kinda funny, my body was expecting vodka – even though consciously I know that it’s just water. After a few times, I was ok with it. But that first time – drinking it gave me a weird feeling! Anyways, it occurred to me “wouldn’t it be funny breaking out the vodka in inappropriate situations?” … well at once point during the trip we were to have dinner with Ace’s parents. I had it all planned out. My heart was racing as we walked into the house and his mum came to the door. He said “Mum, Sasha. Sasha, that’s my mum.” … I looked at her and said “I uhh… I get a bit nervous meeting new people. Just a second.” And then I reached for the vodka and took a swig. I paused as I made eye contact with her. And then I necked the entire bottle… with a big “aaaaaaaghhhh” to register my satisfaction. There was a pause. “Nice one” ace said….. “It’s only water – it’s a wind up, innit!” I said in my best cockney accent.
Quality.
So, a few days later we’re at the house – I hear the doorbell and ace runs out to me and says “hey, there’s a hottie at the door. Her car’s broken down! Go talk to her while I get the jumper cables!” … well, he didn’t have to tell me twice!! I get my arse over there… and she’s a real cutie!! So, I chat her up for a bit, standard stuff and get her number. She seems keen. Then, ace returns and declares he can’t find the cables. We figure we’ll push the car and see if we can get it to start up that way. we get behind the car and give it a shove – success. I say “I’ll call you” and then I lean in to give her a couple of kisses. After that ace leans in and does a full makeout with her. I’m like “what the fuck dude!” …. Then he’s like “that’s my girlfriend dude, YOU’VE BEEN PUNKED!!”
Nnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Quality.
I felt there was some kinda weird thing going on between them. But I didn’t realize till it was too late!!! Arrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. He got me. He got me good!!
Anyways, we’re always coming up with new windups. They are really fun, and great for destroying one’s fear of social pressure. So, just fun for…. Your homework boys and girls (err, just boys, let’s face it) is to go out there and do some silly shit! If you do, please let us know – that would be awesome ;)
Ace also said that he hopes to god 10 years from now neither of us will be involved with game on any level. I can see where he’s coming from. I feel the same way. He was like “You’re a comedian man, you should be focusing on that! You’ll get girls just doing that!!” and he’s right.
We also talked about how after getting the skill set down with women, we really have to let go of game and move on. Too many guys let it take over their lives and it makes them weird. Unfortunately, I haven’t gotten away from this either… I’d say I’m about 20% weird. Now that I’ve seen the light though I’m going to work on it. Ace said
There’s only 2 things you can do, man. You can either just forget about game entirely, or really make an effort not to be “gamey” and shit – not to let it affect you.
Ace explained that he’s trying to drop all of the layers of game and get back to the original him. He said he doesn’t have to fear being that shy guy he once was – that that guy is gone and will never return. Just like I don’t have to worry about being my old self that didn’t have success with women. He said in the start, he basically listened to course on confidence – then went out and kissed 10 girls in one night and was on top of the world. And after that, he got into game …. And that he regrets getting into game, because he didn’t really need it! just having that belief in yourself is enough! I’ve commented on this before as well – you can be a totally normal guy with no clue about game or how to deal with women. But, if you’re confident – you’re still going to have success!
I’m glad I never got into routines or any of that shit. good for me. Getting back to “normal normal” (I’ll call it “ground normal” should be too hard. I just have to behave around hot girls as I do with my friends. Just have a normal chat. Just normal – and take a genuine interest. (and stop being too funny) …. This will set me on a path to having truly sick game. Ace has said so, and a whole shitload of other fella’s as well.
I’m still on the path… but I’m definitely heading in the right direction. And that feels good! Very good!
That’s all for now….
January 16, 2010 at 12:38 am
Loved reading this, it’s well written and has some good points in it. Was good meeting you both in Steak and Cherry!