Maori Healers in UK – amazing!!!

I saw some Mauri Healers last week and it was insaaaaaaaneeeeeeeeeeee !!!!

For those of you who don’t know – I’ve had back/muscle issues since I was 17. Have seen one chiropractor that’s helped – most people being unable to help me in any capacity. I was in covent garden fucking about – and this girl was flyering for ‘em. Long story short, I decide to give it a try.

So, I come into this room – and my Healer is this massive 300 pounds dude with a huuuge gut. Like the Native Santa Klaus.

What can I tell ya – it was one of the most physically painful experiences I’ve ever felt – and one of the most amazing.

The pain … oh my god. It was brutal. BRUTAL. Some of the most serious I’ve ever felt, ever. The only way to get through it is to breathe. You have to breather. At one point I’d inhaled, and exhaled to deal with the pain – but on the exhale it was STILL excruciating – so I tapped out- like a wrestler. The guy looks down at me and says “there’s not tapping out here brother” … yikes.

At one point this massive man just sits on my ass while i’m face down – cuttin of the circulation to my legs. Then, he gets out a guitar and starts singing and playing. WHAT THE FUCK

He had a woman walk on me, as he directed her feet – at one point both her toes were ramming into my soaz muscle…. and im like “ughhhhhhh” … then he looks at me and says “better her than me, eh brother” ….. hehe

creepiest part – he puts his hand over my stomach – i feel something move, and he coughs… then when he actually rammed his fingers into my stomach …… i almost died. fucking BRUTAL pain….. and then he started choking. i knew it was some bad shit in me that made him choke. He looks at me and says “you had a gremlin in you brother” …. “someone put that shit into you and you’ve been carried around. you have to let it go!” and i’m like “eh? who? in this world or the next?” .. and he said “it was a man… in this life – who’s jealous of you”

sheeeeeeeeeet

you can’t fake what I felt …… it’s like …… fuck…… some shit happened in the room. Green mile style, as my mate pointed out

For the next couple of days, I woke up feeling my WHOLE body. Like – OW. Imagine the most intense gym workout you EVER had……. you know how you feel the next day, with every muscle aching? Multiply that feeling by about 5 or 6…… that’s how you feel for 2 days

right after, I noticed I was walking more normally. The fuckers fixed my ankle. I mean it was always coming and going.. i’d linp a bit, it would get better. They put it back, it was out of alignment. Also my lungs, stomach, and various other shit were not aligned to my centre. God damn the pain. The sweet, sweet pain

What’s funny is, throughout all this I was still trying to pick up the 2 hot girls that were in the room. hahahaha. seriously. One i’d met outside and she was very calm, relaxed. We go in together. In the room the girl that was on the ground being treated by the other male healer, was SMOKING hot. At one point between screams of pain i chatted to her… found out she’d had back problems as well. I told her i wanted the number of her physicio which she mentioned was good…… and before she slipped out of the room i said “hey write your email I wanna know how it turns out for you!” …

When I left the room, one lady that worked there said “this is for you” and it was a girl’s buisnses card. i was happy, then realized it was the OTHER girl’s one (that i’d never asked for) … from outside. She was hot too.

anyways she was waiting for me outside and we went on an instant date for 25 mins. She was weeeeelll into me giving me sexy eyes etc

Turns out, she’s a part time stripper. hahaha

i had to run to a meeting …. but i shoulda cancelled it – she wanted to fuck

called her next day to arrange a meet up – she said she was in a different “head space” than the day before and couldn’t meet up. few texts back and forth – i may still see her but ….. 90% sex was possible when i met her

SO many times, you just have to go for it right when you meet ‘em. It’s a golden opportunity. Like Johnny Soporno taught me: If you don’t take the chance when they put it out there (consciously or not) they figure you don’t want it and often dont’ give you another chance. AND IT’S TRUE!!!!!!

Fuck it. I’ll try be more aware in the future.

Still tho, If i’d picked up both girls while being treated – that would have been smoooooothe. Ah well, 1/2 ain’t bad!

Fuck ……… everyone go see the healers. Just google Maori Healers and you’ll find ‘em – they are in the UK for another few weeks!!! ;)

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 5th, 2010 at 3:09 am and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.