Having fun – the long term solution to successful gaming!

What’s up blog readers? A student recently emailed me saying that he would always get thinking too much, or freeze up whenever he got into a conversation with an attractive girl.  My answer prompted me to write this article. If you all could let me know what you think, and any ideas ya’ll might have on how it can be improved … then, I’ll put the article out into the world!

Having fun – the long term solution so successful gaming.

There’s one key element that seems to missing from the lives of most of the guys I meet. It’s an element that’s so fundamental to our very existence – I find it truly amazing it could be missing from anyone’s game – and even more so, out of their lives. That element, my friends – is HAVING FUN!

That’s right…. Fun! Think back: It’s probably your earliest memory – and your best!

Your whole life revolved around it for probably 20 years or so from age 2 onwards. (0-2 you were likely having fun, but not on purpose as you were too busy pissing and shitting yourself) :P

Heck – I’ve been going from age 2 to now…. And I don’t plan on stopping any time soon. So – the questions is – what’s happened that stops people from having fun? The answer is…. life happened! That’s right! Making friends, getting into uni, getting a job, earning the rent, getting debt, paying off debt, getting fired, buying a house, and so on and so forth.

So what happened? Life happened.

And amazingly – along with your libido – slowly having a good time goes out the window!  And amazingly – most peoplelet it go!

Well, fuck that!

Every time I leave the house, my goal isn’t to pick up girls. I’ve got a life.  My goal is to have fun.  My mindset when I leave the house is one of playful curiosity, and merriment. My goal, if any – is to entertain myself above all others.  It’s not even a goal – it’s a way of being. It really is that simple. I’m out to enjoy myself. Whether out on my own, or with friends. Our goal is the pure amusement of our own group – and anyone else who decides to come along for the ride.

I’ve actually noticed that If I could out there with the attitude that I’m going to “Pick up chicks” I usually don’t do as well as if I go out seeking to merely entertain myself   For a multitude of reasons you’re much more likely to success if you’re going about your daily life and approaching when you are truly compelled to do so.

First of all, some women can tell if you’re an approach machine!

That’s right! If you’re just approaching everything and anything while “out sarging” you may indeed get into a pretty smooth chatty state, which can be advantageous, to a point. However, women can sense if this is something you do often. Also, they can feel if you’ve got a “goal” while chatting to them. On a couple of occasions I’ve had women ask me “How often do you do this?” …. Though I’m sure many more women have thought this than have actually verbalized it.

Furthermore, I find when I’m out with the goal of picking up, the quality of girls I approach goes down.  This means, the passion and energy you put into each set will also go down. Almost as if by magic, women can tell how interested in them a guy really is. If you’re just “going through the motions” they’ll know and dismiss you out of hand.  I don’t know how they do it, but they do!

I’ve got certain “Fun” based principles I’ve learned to follow inherently so as to increase my chances of meeting a fantastic girl. These are:

• Approach out of a genuine need to express yourself, and from a place of curiosity, fun, and love.

• Smile. Always be smiling when you approach anybody, for anything. This shows that you are friendly, having fun – and that you’re not a threat. This is a universal rule and applies to meeting all people, in all situations.

• Offer value in the form of fun. This can be a friendly chat, a well timed compliment – or an entertaining (or enlightening) story! I make girls smile because it makes me feel good…. Not because I want something from them!

• Assume everyone is friendly initially, and behave as such. If someone doesn’t want to chat, they’ll let you know.

Most guys are too busy worrying whether they can “get somewhere” with the girls, that this usually gets in the way of having any success. If you change your goal to HAVING FUN instead of trying to get laid – you will actually massively increase your chances of both – and drastically reduce any nights you might look back on as unsuccessful. How can you ever not succeed if your goal was merely your own self amusement? How can you ever see any interaction as a rejection if you were only trying to spread the joy of “fun?”

Furthermore: If your goal is to have fun – YOU will never be rejected.  It’s impossible for a woman to reject fun – and if she does, what the hell do you want with her anyways? By opening up with something fun, original, and whacky, not only are you being completely original – you’ll find yourself hooking up with the kind of girl that you want! The beauty of my approach is, I’m automatically qualifying for the type of women I’m looking for!

So what do I do when I’m out there entertaining myself? Anything and everything

I’ll do silly shit.  I’ll exaggerate, presume, misunderstand. I’ll joke, bump into – pretend steal. I’ll use cheesy pick up lines – hit on men.  Absolutely anything that’s ridiculous, outrageous, out of the ordinary. Now, I’m not saying this stuff is for anyone.

You may not want to scare the shit out of girls on the street, or pick them up and run off with them. Some of the stuff I get up to takes a fair bit of calibration. But, for starters, anyone can use silly openers for their own amusement. Here are a few:

“Hey – Can I borrow some skin follicles and a strand of your hair? You’re so fine… I’m gonna clone you girl! Don’t worry, i don’t treat her bad … i won’t fuck her in the ass. unless you’re into that”

“Hey – can you help me? I’m trying to find some girls that are as cute as you guys, but rich. I’m looking for a sugar mommy!”

“Hey… you look just like …  my future ex wife. Shall we just get married and get this over with?”

On a date, I’ll ask a girl “Hey, do you like piggy back rides?” … and no matter what she says, I’ll say “I love ‘em!” and then I’ll jump on her back. (Don’t put your full weight on – just get one leg over, or someone might get hurt!)

Another thing I love doing is creating uncomfortable situations for the amusement of (you guessed it) myself – and for others, too.  Some examples:

I will often demand refunds for things people would never ask for – bad movies, stale muffins, or even some bubble gum that was not to my satisfaction. I will hold up lines, cause a ruckus, and overall make a big scene until I get what I’m after. This is wonderful for keeping fear of “social pressure” at bay. And it makes me piss myself.

I will often accuse people of stealing things – including their own babies/bike’s etc.  It’s a laugh, and always gets a reaction. Often, you can get yourself into fun roleplay situations, and conversations too!

Here’s a good one: I will sometimes bring with me a small vodka bottle and fill it with water.Then, I’ll take it out during inappropriate moments, like when I’m shopping, or meeting new people. Often I’ll say “sorry, I get a bit nervous meeting new people” just before a take a huge gulp. Sometimes, I’ll down the bottle.  Works almost everywhere, and on dates too!  (You might want to tell her it’s water at some point) :P

A lot of advice dolled about in the community is rubbish – but some of it gold. And one of those golden nuggets is this

“Whatever was fun when you were a kid, is fun now”

That advice is pure 100% absolutely right!  Bring back the child – bring back the fun. ENJOY YOURSELVES! And you’ll attract FUN girls!

I find it best strategy is to keep doing goofy stuff and having fun all the time.  Having fun should be a automatic habit – like brushing your teeth (except, you should do it much more than twice a day!)

Staying in this mindset will insure that you’re always connecting with other like minded people throughout your day.  That’s why I have to FUN right off the top of any interaction. If they aren’t up for it – it’s got nothing to do with me. It’s got to do with them not being connected to their inner child. I feel awfully sorry for these women. Some may never enjoy some of the best things life has got to offer – indlucing sex! They’re the walking dead… and Sasha don’t fuck with zombies!

In conclusion: Don’t focus on the goal. Or, if you like goals…. make your goal to have fun! Enjoy the process of being social. Just get out there and enjoy yourself. Be selfish – give value! The rest will come….

Sasha

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 9th, 2010 at 4:59 pm and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.